Is Anger really the issue?
Recently in a session…
I was in a coaching session recently. It was a discovery session so I was curious to know where the person is and how could I help them. The issues that are brought up in these sessions are never what the underlying or the core issues are. Most of the time we are unaware about it or have a little awareness of what it could be.
Where is the root cause of my problems?
It is not easy to fix something when we don’t know is it that needs fixing. It demands for us to look a bit deeper and connect the dots so that we can have insights into the cause of our behaviors. In the case I was dealing with the isse was anger. When we are expressing anger uncontrollably, we always peg that to be our issue and try to find a way to make it go away without really understanding the cause. It could be a limiting belief we may be holding onto or an inner conflict we are not finding an answer to or a reality we are not yet ready to accept and let go of.
Do I wait until it bursts in my face?
This underlying issue just stays there trying to find a way to get our attention. When we choose to ignore it or run away further, it manifests in the most unpleasent way which makes us have to look. In this looking, we may feel very uncomfortable but it is a good because the discomfort allows us to see what could really be the reason. In this case, the issues of control and wanting things to be exactly the way we want them to be hides under anger and discontentment.
Control and Influence
Our inability to let go of what we can’t control and release the emotions leads us to feel more anger and sometimes even guilt for being angry in the first palce. This can become a vicious cycle for some people. When we realise this, we can start with smaller things like not been affected when someone overtakes us or we don’t find the cap of our bottles.
Our influence is more important that our control because control is limited but influence can grow stronger as it is an expression of our authenticity. It brings with it valor, virility and volition which always look for the best for all involved.
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My goal is never to cure depression, anxiety or get rid of negative emotions, it is to help us realize what makes us aligned with our higher purpose and ways to offer our gifts and talents as service of the greatest good of all. You can easily reach out for a session with me. There is also free resources in my website which you can download for free.